Most of the parent problems I dealt with over the years didn’t start with a bad decision. They started with an expectation nobody ever talked about. Mom figured her son would start. Dad figured minutes would be even. Somebody figured it was fine to grab the coach right after a game and talk about the lineup. A good preseason parent meeting prevents most of that.
The preseason parent meeting is your one shot to get ahead of all of that. It’s the only time all year when every family is in the room, they’re listening, and nobody is mad about anything yet. Here’s what I’d make sure to cover.
1. Start your preseason parent meeting with what you believe
Start with your philosophy, but keep it short. What do you value? Effort, development, defense, doing things the right way? Tell them, and tell them why.
Then connect it to real things: how practice runs, how you decide minutes, how you handle the team. A parent who heard you say in October that defense and effort earn minutes is a lot less surprised in January when that’s exactly what happens.
2. How playing time works
However, this is the big one. Don’t dance around it. Explain how you decide who plays and how much, what you’re watching for in practice and how roles get set.
Be honest about your level. Youth programs often try to keep minutes fairly even. High school varsity minutes are earned. Whatever your approach is, say it plainly and then stick to it. Being consistent is what makes people trust you.
3. How to reach you
Tell parents the best way to contact you, whether that’s email, a team app or setting up a meeting. A lot of coaches, me included, used a 24 hour rule. Wait a day after a game before bringing up a concern.
Also, be clear about what you will and won’t talk about.
- Happy to talk about their own child’s development, behavior, health or grades
- Not going to talk about other players
- Not going to talk about game strategy or play calling
- Encourage the player to come to the coach first when they can
Setting these boundaries now saves you a lot of awkward conversations later.
4. The schedule
Families are juggling school, jobs, other sports and everything else. Get them the whole calendar as early as you can. Practices, games, tournaments, team events, anything over the holidays. Tell them how you’ll share changes and how fast.
Be straight about attendance. If missing practice affects minutes, say so now. If you’re flexible with younger kids who play other sports, explain how that works. People appreciate knowing the rules before they have to make a choice.
5. What you expect from players
Parents should hear the same standards your players hear. Effort, behavior, grades, attitude. Explain how discipline works and what happens when a kid doesn’t meet a standard.
If they know being late to practice means sitting the first quarter, they’re not shocked when it happens. A lot of them will even back you up at home.
6. What you expect from parents
Still, be direct and respectful about it. Cheer for the whole team. Support the officials. Let the coaches coach.
The way I’d put it is that kids do best when parents are supporters, not a second coach. When a parent is yelling instructions from the stands, it usually conflicts with what we’re telling the kid on the bench, and now he’s confused. I’d ask parents to keep the car ride home about effort and attitude, not mistakes and minutes.
7. End the preseason parent meeting with how they can help
End on a good note. Show them ways to be involved. Running the clock, organizing team meals, keeping the team calendar, helping with fundraisers.
Parents who are involved feel connected to the team. When a tough moment comes up during the season, that connection makes it a lot easier to work through.
Tips for running your preseason parent meeting
- Keep it under 45 minutes
- Hand out one page with the key policies and contact info
- Introduce your assistants and managers
- Leave time for questions
- Send a short email summary the next day
I also liked having players there. When kids and parents hear the same expectations at the same time, there’s no confusion later about who said what.
A good preseason parent meeting saves hours later
A good preseason parent meeting takes an hour or so. It’ll save you a lot more than that over the season. When families understand how you run things, they’re much more likely to stay with you through the ups and downs.
We have preseason parent meeting templates and other program building resources at TeachHoops.com if you want a head start.
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